In Russia, I met a Tajik for the first time, and it was an interesting experience. We communicated in Russian. In Tajikistan, people speak Tajik, a language belonging to the Iranian branch of the Indo-European language family and closely related to Persian. However, Tajikistan was once part of the Soviet Union, and for decades, Russian was a compulsory subject in the education systems of the republics that made up the union. That linguistic legacy remains to this day.
My conversation partner had spent his childhood in Tajikistan before moving to Russia to study at Samara State University. He came from a middle-class family that could afford to send him money to cover his living expenses. He did not need to work while studying.
In his culture, as he explained to me, family occupies a central place in people’s lives. Respect for parents and grandparents runs deep. Older family members are regarded as wise and experienced, so their opinions carry considerable weight in family decisions.
He also told me about marriage customs. In the cultural environment he described, families can play a role in choosing their children’s partners, suggesting people from among the parents’ circle of friends and acquaintances. Polygamy, permitted under certain conditions within Islamic tradition, also exists: a man can have several wives as long as he has the financial means to support them.
Islam has a significant presence in Tajik society and, according to what he told me, shapes its values and customs. He described a conservative society with well-defined gender roles and strong family pressure regarding individual behavior. Homosexuality, for example, is a sensitive subject. He explained that homosexual people face rejection and marginalization, and that being gay can be interpreted as bringing shame upon the entire family.
He insisted that men respected women’s intellectual abilities. In his view, husbands considered their wives their intellectual equals, valued their opinions, and took their views into account. He also maintained that violence against women was not tolerated. I cannot say to what extent his description reflects the general reality of the country, but throughout our conversations, I got the impression that he genuinely believed in this way of understanding relationships between men and women.
Another subject that came up was racism. He told me that it was not something he commonly encountered within Tajikistan. Perhaps this was partly due to the relative ethnic homogeneity of the population, although that does not mean differences or other forms of prejudice do not exist. Economic inequalities, on the other hand, were evident. He spoke of clearly defined social classes: the very wealthy, a middle class, and sectors of the population living in poverty. His family belonged to that broad middle segment.
If there was one thing my conversation partner was particularly proud of, it was the physical fitness of his fellow countrymen. He spoke enthusiastically about Tajiks’ athletic builds and their passion for combat sports. Taekwondo was one of the disciplines he mentioned most frequently. According to him, practicing martial arts was a widespread habit among men in his country.
Although he claimed never to have discriminated against other Tajiks, he often made disparaging remarks about Russians. He said that, generally speaking, they were not in good physical shape and did not take combat sports seriously. I pointed this out to him on several occasions. I found it contradictory to take pride in one’s own culture while resorting to generalizations to disparage another.
He was accustomed to interacting with Tajiks, Uzbeks, Kazakhs, and Russians. My Caribbean background introduced references, customs, and ways of thinking that were not part of his usual experience. Although we did not always agree, the exchange was enriching.
References
Contino, L. (2026). Samara: Memories of a Journey.